I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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