but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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