I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
