I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
