i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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