No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You pole danced in your parka.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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