Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
