I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Randomize
