so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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