dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Quick, to the slutcave!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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