the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
