WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
my being single is dangerous.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
