it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
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