my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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