Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
