I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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