I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
