Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
