I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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