they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
