my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Alive.
So much puke
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
