she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
