The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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