im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
it glows. i had to have it.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
