This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
