Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
