It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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