Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
