Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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