do herpes really smell.
My vagina just recognized that song.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
