How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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