so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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