He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
