No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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