We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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