I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
