So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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