Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
did i just pee glitter
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize