Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
