Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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