I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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