My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
