they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Actions speak louder than pants.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
