wrigley field is MILF paradise
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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