Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
