census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
