Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
