you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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