Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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