doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
