im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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