Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
That accounts for only three of the penises
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
