They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
