a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
