i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize