My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
