She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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