He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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