I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
