Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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