Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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