so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize