why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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