Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
