I cockslap morals
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Someone shattered a urinal.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
