Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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