She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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