is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
