My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
