first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
