miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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