I am full of burrito and curiosity
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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