I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
