she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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