the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize