Dual....:-)
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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