i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize