Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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