I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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