Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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