Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
my sisters under your porch take her home
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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