i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize