It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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