Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
