what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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