yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
