I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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