at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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