i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
