if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
