if i can run in heels then i can drive
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
